A Loose Table of Contents

When I set my mind to remembering, a "table of contents" moves through my mind like the credits on a movie screen. I find my afternoon nap interrupted by small events in my past that pop up and ask to be commemorated in some way, and I have to tell my busy brain to settle down and park these ideas in a safe place until later.

Making a list of them might become burdensome and chase away the muse. What I need is some indulgent person to whom I can say, "Remind me to tell you the story of such and such."

Then that person will find me at just the right moment and say, "What was that story about such and such that you wanted to tell me?"

Coming to mind right now is the story of Button's Murphy. No, that is not a typo; it is the name written down on a slip of paper by Button's Murphy himself who rescued my brother and me when we got stranded in the train station at Ocean City NJ as children.

I have two favorite aunts who come benevolently into and out of my history -- periodically, like a sort of holiday-- the one I named Nini and the one I at first called Mañana. I have stories about these women that are interesting and worth sharing.

There was a train trip from Stamford to Philadelphia as a young child that was traumatic and is funny to look back on.

There are the stories of playing hooky from school, recollections of hiding in tall trees and feeling very powerful watching unknowing people pass by, and of my younger brother's secret fort in the tangle-wangles that he let me know about, and the secret cost of admission. And, as well, the last conversation I had with him not many years ago.

The trauma of the "six-tables" and telling time, and the stolen daffodils and other challenges of elementary school.

Mlle. Gisele Marie Henriette Garban and learning to curtsy.

The way my father taught me to drive. The way my mother protested. The way they both loved me so.

Well, those are a few. I shall leave them for now. It's a good day for a break from writing, with so much rich material waiting ahead.

I will tend my garden this morning.

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